The Hiv

This post is dedicated to Ms. Brittany Anderson, who held me special to her heart by tagging me. That sounds awkward. Makes it sound like she gave me the Hiv or something. So, apparently, I am supposed to reveal my top five guilty pleasures to you all. Alright...none of them will really surprise you.

#5. Picking my nose. This one isn't really a guilty pleasure so much as it is a mandatory hobby. The guilty pleasure part is that sometimes I eat my boogers...I stare at that thing on my finger and I just can't resist the urge. You wish I were kidding right now.

#4. Celine Dion. You probably just lost respect for me, but keep one thing in mind...Kyle Smith said Destiny's Child.

#3. Any CelebReality show on VH1. Surreal Life, Celebrity Fat (Fit?) Club, and my most recent favorite, Flavor of Love with...FLAVA- FLAVVVVV! Yeah boyyyyyy!

#2. The Arcade Fire. There is no better feeling of being at peace than walking through Oregon on a rainy day with "Wake Up" blasting through my ipod.

#1. First and Foremost in my heart will always be...Wal-Mart. You totally thought I was just going to say Jesus Christ right there, didn't you? You're not too far off, I believe that Jesus Christ and Wal-Mart go hand in hand. I believe when he refers to "streets of gold" nothing portrays that better than "aisles at Wal-Mart." Oh, yes. There will most definitely be a Wal-Mart in Heaven. I know because when I walk through, it just feels like home and feels like the holy land.

Alright, there they are. I think I shall pass the Hiv onto...hmmm...Jeff Wetherell. I tagged him. I literally just leaned over and tagged him on the shoulder. He's tagged. I'm curious what he's going to say but I can already guess: Music, Xbox, Project Runway, Stacey Hoffman, and Apple Computers.

I May Be Bent To The Edge, But I Ain't Broken

My whole life, I have never been one for asking the question "Why?" in times of death. But for some reason, this time is hitting me hard. My whole life I have been taught and trained the answers to "Why?", and they all still hold true for me today...but that never stops the pain. I'm not saying I'm questioning...but I am saying I finally understand why someone would.

I thank Steve for this game.

A New Year's Resolutions

Out with the old and in with the new...and thus begins another year. As we enter 2006 I have decided to do something I haven't done in a long time. That's right, I am going to make some New Year's Resolutions. I have come upon a few that I would like to work on, and they are:

1. To finally confront, face-to-face, a challenge that has left me disabled my whole life. That's right, this year I plan to learn the purpose of a semi-colon and how it is used in the English language. I will study the in's and out's of it's existence and even go so far as to use it in at least 3 sentences this year.

2. I will dedicate at least 9 hours a week to learning how to breathe through my nose. As part of my morning ritual of awakening, I have adopted an exercise of staring at myself in the mirror for 30 minutes to study my beauty and see myself through my eyes. During such time, it has come to my attention that a hinge in my jaw has malfunctioned and, therefore, my mouth never completely closes. Because of this, I have realized that a majority of my life I have probably spent looking like Beavis (from the acclaimed "Beavis & Butthead"). In doing so, I hope to rid myself of this similarity and simply go back to identifying with Butthead.

3. I will shave the hair on my knuckles and toes at least once a week and cut my toe nails at least once a month. (This resolution is more of Jeff's opinion than mine. I happen to think the mammoth look on girls is quite attractive--everybody like to cuddle with furry things--and long toe nails (in my mind) always seemed more beneficial...they make for great back scratches.)

4. I will get a job and stop borrowing off of homeless people. Apparently it's offensive and immoral to trade them alcohol and cigarettes for their money.

5. No New Year's would be the same without a diet resolution. So, in true fashion Jeff and I will be starting the South Beach Diet tomorrow. The sand there is a little fattening so we will cut back and start going to the North Beach a little more...the water is not as salty.

6. I will repeat myself less. Jeff finds it annoying.

7. I will repeat myself less. Jeff finds it annoying.

8. At the suggestion of many, I will set out to read my bible and pray more. I have purchased a notebook to keep as a sort of "time in" and "time out" log. I will log every problem, doubt, stress, and confusion I feel and write down my corresponding "time in the text." Results will be recorded. Charts and graphs will be drawn. At the end of the year, I hope my data to be conclusive as to whether that is the actual answer for every problem, or if it is the only one people know to give.

9. I will cut back on the amount of jokes I make about Super Christians. (See #8)

...and finally...

10. I am dedicating this year to giving up my life of want and desire and striving to live only by what I need to get by. So much money I throw away on needless things that only ended up making me fat or collecting dust in my closet. I am determined to buy only what is needed and when, eat only when I am hungry and not a bite more after I am full, give when the other needs what I have, and be satisfied with what I have and need nothing more. I plan to start this by cleaning out my closet and ridding my shelves of all the clothes that I haven't worn in years and keeping my wardrobe to what I've only worn in the past 2 months. If I shop, its at a thrift store. If I need necessities, its at a dollar store. I desire to be simple-minded, content, and satisfied with less.

What are your resolutions?