A New Year's Resolutions
Out with the old and in with the new...and thus begins another year. As we enter 2006 I have decided to do something I haven't done in a long time. That's right, I am going to make some New Year's Resolutions. I have come upon a few that I would like to work on, and they are:
1. To finally confront, face-to-face, a challenge that has left me disabled my whole life. That's right, this year I plan to learn the purpose of a semi-colon and how it is used in the English language. I will study the in's and out's of it's existence and even go so far as to use it in at least 3 sentences this year.
2. I will dedicate at least 9 hours a week to learning how to breathe through my nose. As part of my morning ritual of awakening, I have adopted an exercise of staring at myself in the mirror for 30 minutes to study my beauty and see myself through my eyes. During such time, it has come to my attention that a hinge in my jaw has malfunctioned and, therefore, my mouth never completely closes. Because of this, I have realized that a majority of my life I have probably spent looking like Beavis (from the acclaimed "Beavis & Butthead"). In doing so, I hope to rid myself of this similarity and simply go back to identifying with Butthead.
3. I will shave the hair on my knuckles and toes at least once a week and cut my toe nails at least once a month. (This resolution is more of Jeff's opinion than mine. I happen to think the mammoth look on girls is quite attractive--everybody like to cuddle with furry things--and long toe nails (in my mind) always seemed more beneficial...they make for great back scratches.)
4. I will get a job and stop borrowing off of homeless people. Apparently it's offensive and immoral to trade them alcohol and cigarettes for their money.
5. No New Year's would be the same without a diet resolution. So, in true fashion Jeff and I will be starting the South Beach Diet tomorrow. The sand there is a little fattening so we will cut back and start going to the North Beach a little more...the water is not as salty.
6. I will repeat myself less. Jeff finds it annoying.
7. I will repeat myself less. Jeff finds it annoying.
8. At the suggestion of many, I will set out to read my bible and pray more. I have purchased a notebook to keep as a sort of "time in" and "time out" log. I will log every problem, doubt, stress, and confusion I feel and write down my corresponding "time in the text." Results will be recorded. Charts and graphs will be drawn. At the end of the year, I hope my data to be conclusive as to whether that is the actual answer for every problem, or if it is the only one people know to give.
9. I will cut back on the amount of jokes I make about Super Christians. (See #8)
...and finally...
10. I am dedicating this year to giving up my life of want and desire and striving to live only by what I need to get by. So much money I throw away on needless things that only ended up making me fat or collecting dust in my closet. I am determined to buy only what is needed and when, eat only when I am hungry and not a bite more after I am full, give when the other needs what I have, and be satisfied with what I have and need nothing more. I plan to start this by cleaning out my closet and ridding my shelves of all the clothes that I haven't worn in years and keeping my wardrobe to what I've only worn in the past 2 months. If I shop, its at a thrift store. If I need necessities, its at a dollar store. I desire to be simple-minded, content, and satisfied with less.
What are your resolutions?
1. To finally confront, face-to-face, a challenge that has left me disabled my whole life. That's right, this year I plan to learn the purpose of a semi-colon and how it is used in the English language. I will study the in's and out's of it's existence and even go so far as to use it in at least 3 sentences this year.
2. I will dedicate at least 9 hours a week to learning how to breathe through my nose. As part of my morning ritual of awakening, I have adopted an exercise of staring at myself in the mirror for 30 minutes to study my beauty and see myself through my eyes. During such time, it has come to my attention that a hinge in my jaw has malfunctioned and, therefore, my mouth never completely closes. Because of this, I have realized that a majority of my life I have probably spent looking like Beavis (from the acclaimed "Beavis & Butthead"). In doing so, I hope to rid myself of this similarity and simply go back to identifying with Butthead.
3. I will shave the hair on my knuckles and toes at least once a week and cut my toe nails at least once a month. (This resolution is more of Jeff's opinion than mine. I happen to think the mammoth look on girls is quite attractive--everybody like to cuddle with furry things--and long toe nails (in my mind) always seemed more beneficial...they make for great back scratches.)
4. I will get a job and stop borrowing off of homeless people. Apparently it's offensive and immoral to trade them alcohol and cigarettes for their money.
5. No New Year's would be the same without a diet resolution. So, in true fashion Jeff and I will be starting the South Beach Diet tomorrow. The sand there is a little fattening so we will cut back and start going to the North Beach a little more...the water is not as salty.
6. I will repeat myself less. Jeff finds it annoying.
7. I will repeat myself less. Jeff finds it annoying.
8. At the suggestion of many, I will set out to read my bible and pray more. I have purchased a notebook to keep as a sort of "time in" and "time out" log. I will log every problem, doubt, stress, and confusion I feel and write down my corresponding "time in the text." Results will be recorded. Charts and graphs will be drawn. At the end of the year, I hope my data to be conclusive as to whether that is the actual answer for every problem, or if it is the only one people know to give.
9. I will cut back on the amount of jokes I make about Super Christians. (See #8)
...and finally...
10. I am dedicating this year to giving up my life of want and desire and striving to live only by what I need to get by. So much money I throw away on needless things that only ended up making me fat or collecting dust in my closet. I am determined to buy only what is needed and when, eat only when I am hungry and not a bite more after I am full, give when the other needs what I have, and be satisfied with what I have and need nothing more. I plan to start this by cleaning out my closet and ridding my shelves of all the clothes that I haven't worn in years and keeping my wardrobe to what I've only worn in the past 2 months. If I shop, its at a thrift store. If I need necessities, its at a dollar store. I desire to be simple-minded, content, and satisfied with less.
What are your resolutions?
posted by stacey at 12:04 PM
5 Comments:
#11
put to use more joshua based fundamentals
(see # 8)
obviously i didn't make #9 one of mine...there would be no way for me to keep it.
Hello my long lost i'm never home when you call friend!! How much do you hate me that we weren't able to hang out? Because I hate it! I just feel like I got super busy when you were home. :( Los Siento mi amiga!!! But I have a funny story to share with you some day soon!! love ya girl
the two reasons for using a semi-colon (i believe) are thus:
1. because you are omitting a conjuction (and, but, however) to join to independent thoughts (ex. We are going to the store; we plan to get twinkies and gardettos).
2. because of what is called a "because of comma." allow me to explain, because of (a) comma you are forced to use a semicolon to separate ideas (ex. The members of the group are Jose, doctor; Megan, attorney; and Phil, tickle-monster extraordinaire.)
That's pretty much off the top of my head and probably somewhat false, but good luck anyway.
here i am trying to be the leading expert on grammar and punctuation and i used the wrong to/too/two. i hate that.
butt they'rez know ficksing it know.
I like em:)
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